Every Dream That I Lost

This year I felt like I was always coming up a little short or that things weren't going as well as I thought they needed to be. I thought that this year and especially this summer was going to be the turning point for me and that everything would be wonderful. Well things don't always go the way you want and they certainly don't follow your plans. 2010 will forever be the year I graduated early, said goodbye to highschool, goodbye to my ex-boyfriend, goodbye to living at home, and jumped into a new set of circumstances. I moved out on my own without any support from friends and no boy to stand by me. I got used to my new life on my own and didn't need anyone's help. I think I didn't have a boyfriend at that time because God wanted to make sure I did it on my own. I wasn't that sort of dependent girl but with the guy I was with I was. I think He wanted me to do this to prove to myself I really didn't need him.

After that was over, I met this wonderful boy. I wondered if it was too soon after the last one but now I'm positive that it wasn't too early. I love this guy with all my heart. He's made such a big impact on my life and I can't imagine it without him. Its nice to be with someone who actually gets you and even after that wants to love you every day. Now its 2011 and I hope I spend this year and many more with him. This past year was shaky, unsure, and full of new beginnings. This year I hope will be a year of finding my bearings and grabbing hold of where I want to start going in the future. I know that he will be with me every step of the way and I'll be there for him. There's no way I'm letting something this good pass me by. I know there's going to be ups and downs but that's how life is. I've learned that more and more every single year. We hold on to life and pray that nothing will break us away from the moment we're in but if we stay like that we forbid a better moment from happening to us. Yes, a dozen bad ones may be in between the good ones, but the pain is worth it to get to the love in the end. If there was no bad then good would not exist. For every dream that I lost I gained in this past year. For every dream I will dream this year I know one will not happen, but that doesn't matter so much as know who I am without them.

Now I'm starting a new term in school, and feeling more solid then ever. I'm ready to start enjoying this year and making it the best it can be. I'm so thankful I have my friends, family, and Joshua. There's so much ahead and so much behind me. I can't wait to see what this year holds for me.