I'll Wear Your Heart Around My Neck

I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship right now. Yes, I know, those never work, but I'm considering this a temporary long distance relationship. So it will work. Haha. This will probably be the most lovesick/lame blog post ever, but I have to document this because it is simply the most amazing thing in the world right now.
So storytime:

 I got this heart necklace from Forever 21 when I first got to Portland a couple weeks ago. It's a locket. I have a ton of lockets but I never put pictures or anything in them I just like the way they look. I forgot the necklace at my boyfriend's house which was a major bummer. So when I heard he was going to the same volleyball game I was I told him to bring it. When we were saying goodbye he stuck it in my pocket as he left. I didn't think anything of it. I just hopped in my car and began my long journey home. He texted me when I got to the MAX station and said that I should check my heart. Strange right? Then he told me that gave me the last bit of his heart when he left tonight. At this point I was totally caught up in what he was saying to realize what he was trying to get at. Then he said that the rest of his heart was in my jacket pocket. AND BAM! It hit me! That necklace is a locket so I practically jumped and opened it and this is what was inside:

Pretty much the cutest thing in the world :) I smiled the whole way home. It was the most amazing surprise ever. Especially since we haven't been able to spend much time together lately. I have a little piece of him to wear wherever I go. How cute is that? :)

Needless to say it was nice to have since this week has been so long with starting school and everything. So far I absolutely love college and my classes. I have wonderful professors and I know this term is going to be an adjustment but it will be a good adjustment. I go to school smiling and I come home smiling. That is probably the biggest difference as of right now. Right now everything is going so well. I have an amazing class schedule, wonderful friends, an amazing boyfriend, and I love taking care of my apartment. I get homesick from it if I am gone for too long. It's sad but oh well. :D

I love my new life and my new home and I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"

Glitter Underneath My Fingernails

This week has been a stressful, depressing, full of love, wonderful kind of week. There are times when I literally thought I was going to break down and cry and there were times when I actually did. There was just so much going on. Getting ready for school, friends, breakups, engagements. I guess you can say this week was filled with emotion, and when your life is filled with that much emotion some will definitely spill out of your heart. There's something so bittersweet about it too. I have never had to balance my happiness and someone else's unhappiness. I had to put my joy on the side because someone needed me more. Then I had to go and find that joy again. Love can be such a crazy wonderful thing. It touches everyone in some way, and that could be good or bad. For me lately, its been good and I'm so happy because for so long it wasn't. 


I'm quite enjoying my life in this city. I don't mind the constant car horns, sounds of cars flying by on the street, and the city lights. I love them all.

There's something to be said about a place where everyone is searching for themselves.

This is a good movie. Just be prepared to cry by the end of it. I think everyone is a little lost.


Sidenote: Tomorrow I start school.

 And tomorrow is one month.

It's the strangest thing when you realize what you've been missing all along. It's a mix of wow, thank God, and where have you been my whole life? Its truly a wonderful thing. I want to be the girl who loved.

(pictures by Elizabeth Godfrey)

Let school begin.

Are We Gonna Make It?

This post is about love. Simply because over the past few days I've realized just how hard love really is. Fairytales portray it as fate, something that just happens to you and after that point life's perfect. Well, fairytales aren't really life, ladies and gentlemen. It takes two seconds to say "I love you" but love is so much more then 3 little words. After that "I love you" comes the real road to love. There will be everything in the way of you two being together. There will be fights, disagreements, pain, hurt, and that could just be one day or one month. There will be outside forces working against you to keep you two apart. Life will be doing everything possible to keep you two from being together. It is not an easy journey, that is the point I'm trying to make here. Silly high school love lasts for a little while and ends bitterly. To be able to turn that simple love into something that lasts forever, now that is the real journey. Love is the most amazing thing in the world especially between two people. It's the strongest bond in the world. This love is so worth fighting for. The thing is if both people aren't completely committed then it will fail always. It might not be right away but it will. So I guess the question is do you have th strength and passion to go the distance? Do you have the drive to against the world?

I'm beginning to see that it's way more then passion and determination that can change your course of action. Maybe that's the lesson here. The stranger next to me is trying to save his relationship. He's like 60 at least, and I'm helping him type his apology. So what's the lesson here? No one's safe? Heartbreak doesn't discriminate? Love is hopeless? I'm not really sure yet.

 This thing of love is truly astounding me. It's equal parts pure joy and pure frustration.

It's a total roller coaster ride if you let me be cliche for a minute. Love can be completely cynical, cruel, and painful, but then it can be the most beautiful, loyal, wonderful thing on the earth. How do we get to that point? How do we get to where it's just us "chasing cars around our heads" without a care in the world? When do we live like it's us against the world? Why is it like that in the first place? Why do we have to fight the universe to love? Love seems to be something everyone wants. World peace, no war, love everyone and all that blah, blah, blah. So why is it that the world cannot find love if they seek it so much? Instead the world keeps love from being a part of people's lives.

It's like being caught between two sides all the time. Picture a bridge.

You're standing in the middle and on either side of you people stand so there's no where to go. That is life. It's goal is to keep you in that same place for the duration of your life. Love is when you jump off the bridge into the water below.

One, you have to possess the courage to jump and two, you have to be completely out of your mind. Lastly, and most important. You have to understand that once you jump there's no going back.

Fairytales

I decided that nights are the loneliest part of living alone. They also give you a lot of freedom though. I spent last night sitting on my couch cuddled up in my favorite sweater sipping a cup of tea. The quietness gives you a lot of time to think and contemplate things. Its both relaxing and a real problem for me, seeing as I tend to think a lot. After I finished my tea I took pictures.

"Here in these deep city lights

Girl could get lost tonight
I'm finding every reason to be gone
Nothing here to hold on to
Could i hold you?"

-Sara Bareilles

The Start of an Amazing Adventure

So here I am, sitting in Starbucks because I don't have internet writing a post about moving into my apartment yesterday!
So the night before came the last amount of packing...

Then came the movers...

That turned this...

Into this (with a little bit of help from me and the family of course)

And this is my lovely apartment. :) It may look sorta small from the pictures but its actually pretty big.

After all this time, I finally have made it to Portland to start the next chapter of my life and I am so excited for it. The next task is figuring out where everything is. Its so weird being in a place and not knowing where the store is. I didn't realize Starbucks was right downstairs until I walked around the corner. Its all so crazy. Its like a totally different new world, and one that I already love :)

I'm so excited for tonight. I have to stick this into this post at some point. Tonight my boyfriend's coming down to go explore Portland with me! I couldn't be more happy or excited right now. He makes me laugh and smile so much. He actually cares about me which is absolutely wonderful. He is absolutely wonderful.

The thing I think I love the most about this move was that it wasn't something that I had to do. It was something that I wanted to do. My whole life we've been moving around because of Dad and the army. Now this is for me. This is for my future and for my life. This is my own beginning.