Let me start by saying that Christmas is one of the most up and down holidays for me every year. Up because its Christmas after all. Its a time for friends, family, LOVE, and presents. Down because it is one of the worst memories of my entire life. Christmas will forever be the day that my entire family was ripped apart at the seams and has never been the same. And though those memories are almost 5 years old, I still remember them like they were yesterday. I swear I feel them like it was yesterday. Since that time I have hated Christmas. I just couldn't be happy when it was a reminder of such a painful day. Well its pretty much been five years since then and now I'm out on my own. I'm pleased to say that things have changed. The Christmas music is being played for the first time in 5 years, I have a little tree, and lights are strung throughout my apartment. All of these things bring a huge smile to my face. I used to wear black on Christmas because I hated it so much but now I have a cute red sweater and red and green plaid to wear on Christmas. Now some of you people are probably thinking, "Well she has her eyes fixed on material things. Wow how freaking shallow!" Okay let me combat that by saying that you should try enjoying Christmas when it also happens to be the day that a part of your heart died and that you wished you could forget forever. There you go, that's such a merry Christmas isn't it? So allow me this one small milestone to mark the 5 years its been since that awful night. I must say that things are finally getting better.
This Christmas was particularly amazing because I spent part of it with Josh. I know all you readers are probably getting sick of it but I can't help it. He's become such an essential part of my life and I love him! :) His family is wonderful too, its so nice to be finally accepted and loved.
Now I'm off to the beach with Joshua and his family to spend New Years. I'm soooo excited! It's going to be amazing :)
2010 was one interesting year. I graduated, moved on, and now I'm in college ready to start my 2nd term. I'm so excited to see what 2011 has in store for me. I ready for a crazy good kind of wonderful year.
happy new year loves :)-Kate
