A Sinatra Christmas

Let me start by saying that Christmas is one of the most up and down holidays for me every year. Up because its Christmas after all. Its a time for friends, family, LOVE, and presents. Down because it is one of the worst memories of my entire life. Christmas will forever be the day that my entire family was ripped apart at the seams and has never been the same. And though those memories are almost 5 years old, I still remember them like they were yesterday. I swear I feel them like it was yesterday. Since that time I have hated Christmas. I just couldn't be happy when it was a reminder of such a painful day. Well its pretty much been five years since then and now I'm out on my own. I'm pleased to say that things have changed. The Christmas music is being played for the first time in 5 years, I have a little tree, and lights are strung throughout my apartment. All of these things bring a huge smile to my face. I used to wear black on Christmas because I hated it so much but now I have a cute red sweater and red and green plaid to wear on Christmas. Now some of you people are probably thinking, "Well she has her eyes fixed on material things. Wow how freaking shallow!" Okay let me combat that by saying that you should try enjoying Christmas when it also happens to be the day that a part of your heart died and that you wished you could forget forever. There you go, that's such a merry Christmas isn't it? So allow me this one small milestone to mark the 5 years its been since that awful night. I must say that things are finally getting better.

This Christmas was particularly amazing because I spent part of it with Josh. I know all you readers are probably getting sick of it but I can't help it. He's become such an essential part of my life and I love him! :) His family is wonderful too, its so nice to be finally accepted and loved.

Now I'm off to the beach with Joshua and his family to spend New Years. I'm soooo excited! It's going to be amazing :)

2010 was one interesting year. I graduated, moved on, and now I'm in college ready to start my 2nd term. I'm so excited to see what 2011 has in store for me. I ready for a crazy good kind of wonderful year. 

happy new year loves :)-Kate

Thankful...

Once again, I know its been awhile since you've heard from me but things are always so crazy in my life. I'm back for now :)
I gotta start by saying that this past Thanksgiving was absolutely wonderful. I was able to spend it with my boyfriend's family all day long.

Of course because its Thanksgiving, I thought about the many things I'm thankful for.

• First, as always I'm thankful for my family. My mom has been working so hard to keep everything together since I'm not around as much anymore. Riese is doing so well in school this year and that is awesome. That boy has so much potential. I'm thankful that my relationship with my dad is getting better and better and that Annemarie and I are able to hold a conversation.
• Second, I'm thankful for my wonderful boyfriend, Joshua. He is the BEST. No one has by back like he does and just that piece of mind is amazing. We have both gone through so much we have our eyes set on better things ahead. Life is definitely hard but its blessings are why its worth living. He is a light in my life and just knowing him makes my life so much better. Its so wonderful to be with someone you can be so silly with but have a connection with as well. I get to be part of a love story.

• Third, I'm thankful for my first term at Portland State. I was really worried about college and making friends and professors and all that, but this term has definitely eased my worries. I found friends, successfully wrote tons of papers, and found a major. OH YEAH. I'm majoring in International Studies focused on European Studies. My major means that I get to take lit classes and have them count towards my major! Although I'm debating whether or not to minor in English because I definitely love literature. 

• I'm also thankful for my Winter Term schedule and that I was able to register without too many issues. I'm taking an intro to sociology class, a 300 level Shakespeare class, my freshman required class, and just for fun I'm taking a survey of American Lit. Yes that's right! I'm taking a literature class for fun! :)
• Additionally, I'm thankful that I don't have any 8am classes this term and that I don't have to take any Friday classes. 
• Lastly, I'm thankful for Landon. My boyfriend Josh is going to be a wonderful uncle to this little boy. This little boy is such a blessing to their family, especially Josh's mom. Adam left them a legacy and God gave them hope. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. 

My Thanksgiving this year consisted of a wonderful breakfast with Josh and his family. Then a movie:

Tangled

I love this movie! The horse was definitely my favorite character but its so much more than the typical Disney princess movie. The characters are a little deeper and the guy's a little dreamier. HAHA.
After the movie, it was coffee and talking until dinner time. Dinner was amazing! I loved meeting more of his family and spending time with all of them. The food was the best! Everything in there family is so laid back and silly and I love that.

This Thanksgiving was absolutely amazing and I look forward to more holidays with Josh. Well, this first term is nearly over and done. Next week is finals so I'm sure I'll disappear til those are finished. Its the home stretch and I'm so gonna make it.

Oh the Envy

Yes, I know its been awhile but I have been quite busy with school and people and general happenings and my blog writing has suffered. I apologized. Now I am back to I hope what will be a regular blog writing schedule until finals week in December arrives. So...what's been keeping me so busy lately?

Studying for Midterms...

Portland FRINQ: A, A, B+

Shakespeare: 50/50 on essay, 41/50 on questions, overall B+

umm..gotta say that's not bad. :)

Developing a small crush on Lookbook.nu 

Fashion is sooo amazing!

 Completely loving the Fall scene...

Clubbing for the first time at 126 with Kenzie....

 

Planning for Winter Term...

Listening to him a lot lately...

And them too....

Watched this with Johnmark and its great awkward movie to watch with someone you just met...

(HAHAHA)

And that pretty much sums everything up. Life has never brought such a smile to my face.

~wishes~

~dreams(hairwise)~

So everything's been going pretty well lately. I feel like I'm actually learning in college which is a really good feeling. I've been enjoying hot chocolate on a regular basis and coffee is still a well-known staple of mine. I'm excited for the holidays that are coming up, especially Thanksgiving. I'm excited that my dad's coming up from GA to see my brother and me. Life is so wonderful now and I hope it keeps getting better. My friends have been keeping me so hyper and excited for everything and my family has been supporting me tons. I'm almost done with my first term of college at Portland State and I can't wait for winter! On top of everything, 4 day weekend. Thursday spent with Josh, and the rest of it up in the air. Just the way I like it. :) 

oh and one more thing...

i got a mouth and i'm not afraid to use it. 

Turning 18

Legally an adult? I think YES.

16. 17. 18.

I knew that one day wouldn't make me feel any different. What makes me feel different is looking back on this past year and how much I have changed as a person. So much has changed in my life in the past year and I do not regret any of it. I don't think there's anything I would go back and change if I could. I know that's crazy considering a great deal of hell went on this past year but in the end I think its contributed to the person I am today. Those experiences have made me stronger and a great deal wiser; both in life and in love. If something so radical and painful hadn't have happened I would be back where I was a year ago. A not so helpless girl trapped in a helpless life. That is so not me! I accomplished so much this past year. I graduated early and started college before I turned 18! I fell in love with an amazing guy who I care about so very much. I moved out and I'm living on my own. I accomplished more in one year then most 17 year olds.

My goals for this year are quite simple:
1. to truly enjoy living life

2. to not take love too seriously and still enjoy the little things
3. to not lose my mind over stupid drama
4. to completely accomplish the long list of things I want to do in college
5. to stay focused and still have fun

I had an amazing birthday!

 

 

 I have hope that this year will be wonderful, more hope then I've had in a long time.

This is my last week as a child? WHAT?

So I've made it halfway through my first term of college and so far, college is a billion times better then high school. There's a lot more reading but all those little busywork assignments are non-existent. I got my first quiz back today and I aced it. So this week has started off really well and I had a wonderful weekend!

I spent all of Saturday with my wonderful boyfriend who I've hardly seen all month!

We went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch, stopped by the Saturday Market, went to Pioneer Square, and then took in the view by Washington Park. We went all over Portland and it was simply amazing. It was definitely one of the best days ever.

I felt like a little kid :D It was fun!

Josh is an excellent photographer!

I could actually say "I can see my house from here!" That never happens. It was so cool haha.

He looks so happy here! He's always smiling...I love that! :) 

So this week is going to be a bit crazy. I have class all week and then my birthday dinner on Friday with my family and Josh. Then Sunday is actually my birthday! Sadly though, next week is midterms...SO LAME. I'm still determined to have an awesome birthday though! :D

  Hello 18.

fully an adult and fully responsible for all my childish actions now... :p

I've found myself staring at maps a lot lately because of my int'l studies class. This week's map quiz is over Africa. Its made me think of traveling abroad and going somewhere. I don't know where yet but I want to go somewhere. Travel is on my mind at the moment along with everything else I'm thinking about.

I am missing my music.

So this is a recap of the weekend along with today...which is Monday. Today was spent in class nearly falling asleep and trying to not laugh at the silly things we were all doing to keep ourselves entertained. International Studies was spent taking notes furiously while trying to listen to the professor talking. He likes to really get into the lecture. Its funny. After that I celebrated acing my quiz by going out and getting pizza. Now I find myself trying to study for my quiz Wednesday and reading at the same time...I'm such a multitasker. :) This was my Monday. I intend to blog every day this week. It is my last week as a child after all :)